i was here once. not in the exact same place or time, but in the same attitude. alone at last, free at last! excited for whats to come next yet sorry for what i left behind. it can't be undone, there is no going back. yes, i said things i didn't mean. yes, i thought things i shouldn't have thought...but the day must go on. things will heal in time, and all of the unforgivables might just hold their own, prove that they were necessary and working in the name of fate. i don't miss the past anymore, its not special or exciting to think about. it won't save me, it wont cure anything, it won't give me fulfillment. it just is. it's done, over, outside my rhelm of thought. it exists in some other world that i have no interest in visiting any time soon. maybe one day i will go back for a weekend trip or something. but other than that...it is never to be touched again or held again or welcomed back into the moment i'm in right now. i just want to live minute by minute. please. maybe not forever, but hopefully for as long as i think i need to. i will know when its time to start reflecting on the past again...but i need a break. a healthy break. so i will leave it be. farewell ole past, and take care.
sincerely,
kayla
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