cocoon

bus stop dream
but there's never an empty seat
so i wait patiently
like an earthquake waiting to unleash
and crumble the whole city
and break these crooked streets,
until everything stops moving
unlike this hollywood movie
where every scene plays over and over
until it consumes me,
but when the camera cuts to me,
i say [casually] "it wasn't ment to be"...
like that means anything,
cause i still remember times
driving home at night,
headache light,
no nails to bite,
and sadness taking over inside
(like it was trying
to cocoon those nervous butterflys)
but that's silly
to think there is a possibility
to capture something that free,
or maybe not,
cause eventually
we all end up at the begining
according to scientific documentaries
and textbook theories
that everybody skimmed but didn't read,
(including me)
so now i say, "lets just wait and see."

so this is what it has come to...
me piecing days together with glue
hoping that anything new
could be traced back to
people and places like you
or that musty midtown music room
where you sang you heart out in a tune
and for once,
i just sat in the crowd, unable to move,
and watched you.

-kayla

island home

happy sounds
come back around,
the ones i used to hear
before the dawn of dark
and the moving back
to this town.
i hope they stay...
for a while anyway,
longer than the state fair
and the 105 degree weather,
which ends this saturday.
cause you've seen how i slide
down the vertical wall of time
and get used to the bottom
where i overstay my welcome,
and spend too many lonely nights.
but this time i wont go
back to my far-away island home
with the long metal track
that connects it to the mainland,
cause it isn't an island anymore.

-kayla

never again

i swore i would never do it again
but there i was at 4 am
driving home, about to press send
when i remembered that i said
"i will never do that again",
so i didnt
but god damn, i was so tempted
cause i wanted you to know
what you already know,
and now i'm left with heavy thoughts
and heavy hands
that i keep to myself
instead.

-kayla

around my door

for years you've lingered too long around my door, so long, in fact, you've found your favorite spot on the porch. that spot right outside the window in a wooden chair with a view of the land you see but never work. a nice spot in the shade where the soft breeze from the south passes every evening, and the smell of the leaves and burning wood lingers every morning. i've invited you to come on in in every kind of weather, i've arranged for you to leave by every mode of transportation, but all you want is for me to come out and sit with you...wait with you. sometimes, when im in the mood, i'll sit next to you and listen to you talk until the sun come up. meanwhile, i forget about my life inside the house and about my life out in the town. i forget things about myself like my name and my face, but mostly my age. i slip away. i know you know that i do by the way i clutch your hand and rest my head on your chest [ like a child, not a lover]. then, like a movie script ending with perfect timing, you say,"stay with me.", but i always find a reason to go...always.

sincerely,
kayla

hide&seek

everything is misplaced,
but it makes me smile and pace
because something is only lost
until i choose to find it again,
like a child's game of hide and seek
with open fingers over my eyes trying to peek
then taking careful note where the hiders go,
tag them all and say i didn't cheat...
but i can't pretend anymore
because i know right where to find everything.

sincerely,
kayla

down

new song, old footage.
enjoy.

honest night

honest night, make me new agian
and get me back on my feet.
wait for the last tear to drop,
the spinning to stop,
and for each breath to sigh.
wait for me to fall asleep
before the coyotes cry
and i awake to my blues again,
and pretend
there is no end
honest night, make me new
again.

-kayla