please let me lay here
i've never seen you cry
not even a single tear
of sadness. i wont try
to look at your face
and watch the water drip off your cheeks
or try to trace
where it goes when it leaves
i just want to lie with you while you grieve.
you face the ceiling
i'll face the wall
i know you're feeling
pain where pain doesn't belong
cause i broke your heart
i crushed the dream
with a heart that hard
you have the right to be mad at me.
i'm sorry i was the one to leave
...so sorry
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Dear Evening
Dear Evening,
i’m stuck in the hours of the afternoon while nagging thoughts surface in my head
thoughts that simmer in the still daytime heat and thicken from over-turning
i had put them off to enjoy the morning and now I want them gone before the night falls
[fuck! ‘fall’…that word has a habit of making me sick these days]
Oh, eager evening, can you come early just this once?
or will you make me suffer through the daytime blues knowing that I will be waiting for you?
-kayla
i’m stuck in the hours of the afternoon while nagging thoughts surface in my head
thoughts that simmer in the still daytime heat and thicken from over-turning
i had put them off to enjoy the morning and now I want them gone before the night falls
[fuck! ‘fall’…that word has a habit of making me sick these days]
Oh, eager evening, can you come early just this once?
or will you make me suffer through the daytime blues knowing that I will be waiting for you?
-kayla
Saturday, May 23, 2009
After Dark
New song...written last night sometime around the midnight o'clock. I recorded it this evening
and posted it for your listening pleasure.
I wrote it for all the times that time had for people of you and me or whoever has stuff and things while doing something and feeling nothing but mostly for everyone who...[no, that wasn't suppose to make any sense]
K
and posted it for your listening pleasure.
I wrote it for all the times that time had for people of you and me or whoever has stuff and things while doing something and feeling nothing but mostly for everyone who...[no, that wasn't suppose to make any sense]
K
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Insight
"She sits in his lap, she's feeling lonely, nothing serious, she just wants sympathy, company,
then she realizes that though she hasn't said a word, he's sensed her sadness and is irked,
feels that she's inflicting, as she always does, he seems to think, her misery on him
so she tells herself not to be so needy anymore, for now, though, she just wants to leave,
except she can't, she knows that if he suspects he's let her down he'll be more irritated still,
and so she stays, feeling dumb and out of place, and heavy, heavier, like a load of stone."
-C.K. Williams
then she realizes that though she hasn't said a word, he's sensed her sadness and is irked,
feels that she's inflicting, as she always does, he seems to think, her misery on him
so she tells herself not to be so needy anymore, for now, though, she just wants to leave,
except she can't, she knows that if he suspects he's let her down he'll be more irritated still,
and so she stays, feeling dumb and out of place, and heavy, heavier, like a load of stone."
-C.K. Williams
Monday, May 18, 2009
Oh, Lorraine
Oh, Lorraine
she grew up on the farm until the drought came
now she's trying hard to keep every day the same
but nothing survives without the rain
and she can't water the fields
with spit and tears
kayla
she grew up on the farm until the drought came
now she's trying hard to keep every day the same
but nothing survives without the rain
and she can't water the fields
with spit and tears
kayla
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Gone Away
New recorded song! It's called 'Gone Away'.
I wrote it when I was 6.... just kidding...I wrote it sometime on friday and recorded it today.
Good times here in the studio.
sincerely,
Kayla S.
I wrote it when I was 6.... just kidding...I wrote it sometime on friday and recorded it today.
Good times here in the studio.
sincerely,
Kayla S.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Sculptor
I am a sculptor!
that's right....a sculptor
I can build you a new me, anything you want to see
and then melt it down right in front of you
until i'm a pile of clay spilled all over the floor
liquid and useless.
perhaps a mess that might get stuck to your shoe
just someone you happened to step on by accident,
but that's not how i want to be with you.
-k
that's right....a sculptor
I can build you a new me, anything you want to see
and then melt it down right in front of you
until i'm a pile of clay spilled all over the floor
liquid and useless.
perhaps a mess that might get stuck to your shoe
just someone you happened to step on by accident,
but that's not how i want to be with you.
-k
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Photoshoot
bored when there are things to do?
oh well.
listening to new records i got today in the mail!
stupid photoshoot :)
-kayla
oh well.
listening to new records i got today in the mail!
stupid photoshoot :)
-kayla
birthday call
happy birthday! i can't see you today,
but maybe a phone call will do.
it seems like such an easy call...
to just wish you happy birthday.
(maybe easy if i lock myself in a phone booth)
but i always try and talk myself out of a phone call
(like the way i try and talk myself out of an illness)
maybe its best to practice first because the words tend to fall
out of my mouth
without any flow or elegance
"happybirthdayhappybirthdayhappybirthday"
don't wait for my call.
-kayla
but maybe a phone call will do.
it seems like such an easy call...
to just wish you happy birthday.
(maybe easy if i lock myself in a phone booth)
but i always try and talk myself out of a phone call
(like the way i try and talk myself out of an illness)
maybe its best to practice first because the words tend to fall
out of my mouth
without any flow or elegance
"happybirthdayhappybirthdayhappybirthday"
don't wait for my call.
-kayla
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Breaking Point
it's her turn to look away
their eyes have locked three (or four) times now.
even though they know they shouldn't, they both enjoy these slightly embarrassing, lengthy gazes
they know that the breaking point must occur once the eye contact becomes a longing stare.
that is the unwritten rule they've abided by for many years.
there was a time when they made a liberating exception to this rule
maybe when they were afraid of the end, afraid their relationship (as they knew it) was over
or maybe when their curiosity became too overwhelming and left them with no choice but to embark on physical endeavors.
maybe both?
but those days are over, and they must go back to unwillingly following the rules (like anxious school kids who try and get away with as much as possible)
there is still something unexplainable between them, even though the mystery is gone.
was that the forth or fifth time? they've lost track
...but it's his turn to look away now
-kayla
their eyes have locked three (or four) times now.
even though they know they shouldn't, they both enjoy these slightly embarrassing, lengthy gazes
they know that the breaking point must occur once the eye contact becomes a longing stare.
that is the unwritten rule they've abided by for many years.
there was a time when they made a liberating exception to this rule
maybe when they were afraid of the end, afraid their relationship (as they knew it) was over
or maybe when their curiosity became too overwhelming and left them with no choice but to embark on physical endeavors.
maybe both?
but those days are over, and they must go back to unwillingly following the rules (like anxious school kids who try and get away with as much as possible)
there is still something unexplainable between them, even though the mystery is gone.
was that the forth or fifth time? they've lost track
...but it's his turn to look away now
-kayla
Monday, May 4, 2009
Dear, Kayla
Hi. Hello,
Remember when you used to be really focused and dedicated? I'm sure you do since it's only been about eight months or so since you were. Good times, when you had a really good practice schedule and had a lot of goals for yourself [drumming-wise]. What happened kid? Too many dumb distractions? I suggest you get back to taking yourself a bit more serious. Soon.
sincerely,
Kayla (?)
For Old Time Sake...
Live Drumming With All On Seven
Remember when you used to be really focused and dedicated? I'm sure you do since it's only been about eight months or so since you were. Good times, when you had a really good practice schedule and had a lot of goals for yourself [drumming-wise]. What happened kid? Too many dumb distractions? I suggest you get back to taking yourself a bit more serious. Soon.
sincerely,
Kayla (?)
For Old Time Sake...
Live Drumming With All On Seven
freeze it
"Take a picture of your life for a second
now freeze it and look at the screen
what parts of you were daydreams, illusions, and other things?"
-d.r.a.
now freeze it and look at the screen
what parts of you were daydreams, illusions, and other things?"
-d.r.a.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
omg this song...
Icy Blue Heart
Bluebird
Emmylou Harris
She came on to him like a slow moving cold front
His beer was warmer that the look in her eye
She sat on the stool, and she said "What do you want"
She said Give me a love that don't freeze up inside
He said, I have melted some hearts in my time dear
But to sit next to you Lord I shiver and shake
And if I knew love, well I don't think I'd be here
Askin' myself if I had what it takes
To melt your icy blue heart
Should I start to turn what's been frozen for years
Into a river of tears
These days we all play cool calm and collected
Our lips could turn blue just shooting the breeze
But under the frost, we thought he detected
A warm blush of red, and the touch of her knee
He said you're a beauty like I've never witnessed
And I've seen the northern lights dance in the air
I've felt the cold that can follow the first kiss
And there's not enough heat in the fires burning there
To melt your icy blue heart
Should I start to turn what's been frozen for years
Into a river of tears
To melt your icy blue heart
Bluebird
Emmylou Harris
She came on to him like a slow moving cold front
His beer was warmer that the look in her eye
She sat on the stool, and she said "What do you want"
She said Give me a love that don't freeze up inside
He said, I have melted some hearts in my time dear
But to sit next to you Lord I shiver and shake
And if I knew love, well I don't think I'd be here
Askin' myself if I had what it takes
To melt your icy blue heart
Should I start to turn what's been frozen for years
Into a river of tears
These days we all play cool calm and collected
Our lips could turn blue just shooting the breeze
But under the frost, we thought he detected
A warm blush of red, and the touch of her knee
He said you're a beauty like I've never witnessed
And I've seen the northern lights dance in the air
I've felt the cold that can follow the first kiss
And there's not enough heat in the fires burning there
To melt your icy blue heart
Should I start to turn what's been frozen for years
Into a river of tears
To melt your icy blue heart
Dissolved
I remember where I was, but where am I now?
I keep getting dissolved in the dream and have somehow lost all track.
how far do I have to look to know where I am, or who I am?
the room reminds me that I'm home
the illusion tells me what I want to hear
the mirror begs me to never look past the skin
and my soul's affection forces me to ask... but never tell
-kayla
I keep getting dissolved in the dream and have somehow lost all track.
how far do I have to look to know where I am, or who I am?
the room reminds me that I'm home
the illusion tells me what I want to hear
the mirror begs me to never look past the skin
and my soul's affection forces me to ask... but never tell
-kayla
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